The Dreaded "One-Upper"

The 'one-upper' can be described as that person in your life, either a friend or acquaintance - and sometimes a complete stranger - who is constantly robbing you of any glory the successes in your life may have offered you. The 'one-upper' is that girl/guy who overhears you having a conversation about your new shoes - those shoes that you found at a discount that you are completely in love with - and jumps in to talk about how he/she found an even BETTER deal for even BETTER shoes. In this example, the dreaded 'one-upper' has shifted the attention from your knack for finding great deals to her ability to be even BETTER than you. The 'one-upper' sees you using your new mascara and says, 'honey, that mascara is a piece of trash in comparrison to this one I just got'. Lost 3 pounds this week? Don't bother sharing that information because you can bet your bottom dollar that the 'one-upper' has lost 10. Save yourslef the frustration. Is this person, this 'one-upper' I refer to, merely an insecure individual who feels that the only way in which they can relate to you or feel moderately important in this world is to do what you do, but BETTER. The answer, folks, is yes. Let me say this, my gentle reader: please do not blame them, as the 'one-upper' cannot control this about themselves. For example, a mosquito bites your arm and your primitive and instinctual reaction is to slap your arm in an attempt to defend yourself against this irriation. Well, in the same instinctual manner the 'one-upper' must react promptly once hearing about someone else's joy (which is, in actuality, an irritation to them). Bought a new couch? SLAP...they bought a living room set for a better price! Dating an amazing new person? SLAP...they are dating an even MORE amazing person! I will say again, to all who have come accross this loathed individual, do not blame them for their inability to shut their mouths during a time that you wish to share your joyful moment. I am not sharing this to cause you to feel relunctant to tell us about your toddler being able to sing his 'ABC's' --- just don't be surprised if, once you share this, you learn that someone else's child of the same age has just written his first paragraph.